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Is it just me or when you turn off the computer by holding down the power button, it feels like I’m choking it to death.
Happy July 22nd! Today isn’t a holiday, but you’re alive and well, so why not celebrate?
Is it true that the older you get the crazier you become? Or is that just me?
A yawn is a silent scream for coffee!
The responsibility of taking out the trash should be left to the person who runs out of ways to fit more trash in the bag.
Who let the owls out?? Don`t sing the chorus you`ll make it worse.
Even if I were taking a dump on the moon someone would walk in and sit down in the stall next to me.
*uses Ouija board* NEW PHONE WHO DIS
If you like counting to three, you are going to love parenting.
you know what`s funny? Obviously neither do I or I would have posted it.
If Kanye didn`t sing "Gold Digger" while Kim walked down the aisle, I`m not interested in hearing anything about their wedding.
I’m not a “stalker”. I want to make sure you’re okay at all times. You can look at me as an unpaid bodyguard.
People say I`m too patronising (that means I treat them as if they`re stupid).
I`m starting to wish I were a werewolf so I`d have a better reason for waking up nude in public with no memory of how I got there.
Have you ever noticed that half way through the ColonialPenn insurance commercial, Alex Trebek tries to pull a Jedi-Mind-Trick on us.... "This is the insurance you are looking for." (I didn`t get enough sleep last night.)