Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
cable TV.... helping us avoid Presidential speeches for nearly four decades
Not sure why my wife is only mad at me, our 4 year old forgot her birthday too.
Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?
When you screw up, menopause can be a wonderful excuse for stupid things you do or say!!!
Women aren’t that complicated. They just want an honest and genuine guy who will give them insincere compliments they might not deserve.
OMG! I went shopping because I needed a skirt and these earings were on special so I bought four new pairs of shoes!
Who has time to monitor followers/unfollowers? I can barely keep track of my kids and I only have 1 of those ... Wait ... Two. I have 2 kids.
If you love something, set it free. Maybe not sharks though. Or bees. Viruses. Lots of stuff really. Look, the point is don’t love anything.
My problem is that all food is comfort food
Left the toilet seat up. Wife screaming in 5, 4, 3, 2...
Win every argument simply by repeating your opponent`s last sentence in a whiny voice.
Facebook: The only place where you get excited when strangers follow you.
I only hate the people in front of me while checking out at the store. Everyone behind me is cool.
My girlfriend told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexy. I came back drunk.
Bring a side? Like, of alcohol?