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What sort of drug abuse and debauchery has to occur in someone`s life for them to start liking Charmin Toilet Paper on Facebook?
Hard work never killed anyone but why risk it?
I hate it when the movie trailer is better than the movie itself.
Damn…I’m having an out of money experience.
With the rise of self-driving vehicles, eventually there will be a country song about how your truck left you too.
Find a penny pick it up and all day long you`ll have good luck. Or some kind of virus because pennies are dirty and gross.
I`d like to eat healthy, but we all know what happened that time Eve ate an apple. Best not to risk it.
Sex is like pizza, if you`re going to use bbq sauce you better know what the f*ck you`re doing
I love myself everyday. Sometimes, twice a day.
The dollar store needs to go ahead and open up a few gas stations.
What I lack in good decisions, I make up for in inappropriate behavior.
The best person to get thrown in jail with would have to be the Kool-Aid Man.
Shout out to ATM fees for making me buy my own money.
Sometimes all you need is a hug or someone to tell you everything will be ok, or some rough sex or whatever...
Neil Armstrong was the first human being to step foot on the moon. Neil A. backwards spells "Alien"