Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
"You know what, we need a huge spoon to take care of this" -Guy who invented shovels
Sometimes, I`ll start a text with "lol" if it might be a sensitive subject. Like, "lol it`d be cool if you moved out."
I love my six-pack so much, I protect it with a layer of fat.
I`d like to thank (you know who) for the (you know what) I`ll talk to you later (you know where) and if I don`t (you know why).
Here`s how I gained 27lbs of muscle in 5 weeks: Lying.
What if the weather talks about us?
If you don’t like something change it... if you can’t change it....post it on facebook, so we can "like it" and laugh..
Panick, chaos, anarchy... my work here is done.
In a parallel universe calories are trying to burn people.
I wonder how many identical twins are walking around now with the wrong names because their parents got them confused as infants and never figured it out.
You`d think by episode 133 the Scooby Doo gang would know it`s a guy in a costume every time.
I don`t need your advice. I do a great job of screwing up my life all by myself, thank you!
It’s interesting how the ads on Youtube never have trouble buffering.
Multitasking (verb) - Screwing up several things at once.
You can either wear granny panties OR yoga pants - not both. Pick one.