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Don’t underestimate my ability to do absolutely nothing.
For those who do not know what ADHD can do to a person, let me expla.....oooh look i got a text message.
To me, suicide seems selfish. For all I know, someone else might want to kill me
How do people rap? I can’t even talk without messing it up.
This week’s weather forecast: Sweaty underboobs.
Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen.
Marriage: When dating goes too far.
Facebook is great! It reminds me to go to the gym and take my birth control so I don`t end up like everyone I went to high school with.
Not to brag, but Netflix recommends certain movies just for me.
Whenever being single gets me down, I like to close my eyes, take a deep breath and then go do whatever I want pretty much nonstop.
Today is national I don`t feel like doing sh!t today. Celebrate accordingly.
my entire life is a "had to be there" moment
FACT: The higher pitched my "hey!" the greater the chance I don`t remember who you are.
Let`s be honest... Gay Divorce Court would be the best thing to happen to daytime TV in the history of ever.
They say children are a gift from god. I`m totally wide-open to regifting.