Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Remember the bridge you drive over today was built by the lowest bidder.
You can make your life more entertaining by simply reaching out, and getting to know a whore.
Remember years ago when we didn`t have facebook and we had to take pictures of our food and get the film developed at the chemist get all your friends round your house and show them what you have been eating ...the good old days
I like to log into facebook and leave a status just to show I`m here. Or am I?
My arm fell asleep, which is understandable, considering how boring the rest of my body has been.
If I was a funeral director, I would tie the shoe laces together of the deceased.Then the zombie apocalypse would be hilarious.
If you ever disappeared while hiking, Iād remain with the search party at least until it started raining.
I know alcohol isn`t the answer, but it`s my best guess.
Never call a woman crazy because she will say, "I`m not crazy!" and then go and do something crazy. Probably with matches.
Just saw a cop that had a U-Haul pulled over on the side of the road. Obviously he was trying to bust a move.
Over the weekend I pulled a muscle getting off the couch to fetch more Doritos.
I`m holding cheerleader tryouts for my fantasy football team
My boss told me that if I can`t show up sober then don`t bother coming to work tomorrow. Three day weekend!
If I owned a copy shop, Iād only hire identical twins to work there.
In alcohol`s defence, I`ve done some pretty dumb sh*t while completely sober too.