Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I love you all so much right now because, well, alcohol.
That weird moment when u just say "what`s up " to someone and they thing you`re a shrink.
Aren`t you too fat to be this rude?
Did I already do my deja vu joke?
i wish i could sleep ... but my damn A.D.D. kicks in and basically 1 sheep, 2 sheep, cow, turtle, duck, Ol McDonald had a farm, HEEEY Macerena.
If I don`t clean my house soon, someone is going to bring in blindfolded ppl for a Frebreeze commercial.
Don’t jump to confusions.
Is it "poon tang", or "poontang"? I`m trying to update my Christian Mingle profile.
People think that a girl`s dream is to find her perfect guy & be with him forever... That`s Crap! A girl`s dream is to eat without getting fat.
I am now convinced that the homeless people have all of the shopping carts that do not have the wobbly wheels.
Dogs are great. You can count on them to alert you of danger...Also, children passing by, squirrels and gusts of wind they don`t like.
500 recipes pinned to my Pinterest board. Eating a peanut butter & jelly sandwich.
According to my current parking spot, I`m Chief of Police.
I can`t believe people used to have to paint selfies.
Is it physically possible to be sad in rollerskates? Cause I think my cat`s just being dramatic.