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Worry: a waste of imagination.
Thanks to everyone for the Birthday wishes! To anyone who missed it.”No cake for you!!"
I`m starting to think mosquitoes just land on our faces not to suck blood but to see how stupid we look when we slap ourselves.
I`m sorry call me old fashioned,but i think your shorts should be longer than your vagina...
The length of a minute depends on which side of the bathroom door you´re on.
1 in 5 bosses will let you leave work early if you claim to have `lady problems` then start crying. It works even better for guys.
4 out of 5 voices in my head think the other voice is a douche.
I wonder what Facebook employees do at work to waste time.
Farting isn`t ladylike? Well, neither is giving a blowjob, but I have never heard you complaining about that!
Women want a lot of things from one man. Conversely, men want one thing from a lot of women.
I love my six pack abs so much that I cover them with a layer of fat .
When you`re a kid, dick jokes are considered adult content, but when you`re an adult, they`re considered immature.
It´s never to late to be happy
A cop pulled me over and said ``Papers...`` So I said, ``Scissors, I win!`` and drove off like a boss!
If offering people gum is cooking, then yes, I cook.