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Have a day. That`s about as inspirational I get.
take me drunk i`m home
If anyone could read my mind I`m pretty sure they`d be traumatized for life.
You know you`re addicted to your iphone when you start using your fingers to zoom into things on your laptop computer. Or a printed photo. Or a book. Or your watch.
No one is ever bored enough to start studying.
If Trump wins I`m leaving the country. If Hillary wins I`m leaving the country. This is not a political post, I just want to go on vacation.
Destiny may decide who touches your Life. Your heart may decide who touches your Soul. But…Tequila decides who touches your body
Dear Stomach: You`re bored, not hungry. Shut up.
The problem with alcohol is that... it wears off.
In every organization there will always be one person who knows what is going on. That person must be fired.
Why go to a public pool when strangers on Craigslist will pee on you for free
Good for you, people that do things.
No matter how hard I try, I just never seem to run out of bad ideas.
People at work tell me I have a lot of patience. Fact is… there are just way too many witnesses around
The original creator of the phrase β€œcommon sense” surely didn’t know many people.