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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

If I was rich, I`d do nothing all day from a much nicer couch
One trenta cheeseburger please.
Hating everything saves countless hours of decision making.
The only people who care about my college degree are the college loan people.
Just give me coffee and no one gets hurt.
Yes it may sound childish but if it glows in the dark I still get freaking exited.
Saw someone try and park a car for about 10 minutes. I didn’t see the person so I’m not going to assume what gender she was.
I`m growing a mullet to test our friendship.
Matt Damon is set to play an all-action version of Jesus in his new Easter based Biblical film, "Bourne Again Christian".
I will be buried in a spring loaded casket filled with confetti! I just want a future archaeologist to have a great day!
I`ve decided that I`m an ass man. Don`t get me wrong, horses are beautiful. They just aren`t as cute as donkeys.
Anyone else find it odd that on Star Trek, when they "boldly go where no one has gone before" they always end up meeting someone?
Hey Pringles, it`s time to widen the can. Your core demographic isn`t exactly thin-wristed.
If I could have sex with anyone, living or dead, I would for sure pick living.
If a dwarf smokes weed does he get high or medium?