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A lot of people are very competitive when playing stupid.
Do you know what would really be fun? ... No really.. If you know, tell me.. I`m bored to death.
Is glad Christmas is near i sure need new coloring books and crayons ..
Stapling water to a tree is easier than controlling your laughter at serious times.
Just bought me a medical alert bracelet that says... "probably just sh!tfaced"
I`m so ghetto.... I had lights and water bill in my name before the age of 3..
"Rise and shine” is probably the most depressing thing a shoeshiner hears in the morning.
I kinda dig you, want to hang out and stuff until we hate each other?
My grandma told me her joints are getting weaker, so I told her to roll them tighter.
I’m taking care of my procrastination issues; just you wait and see.
This relationship is going to be weird if you keep pretending I`m not your boyfriend.
Depending on how you look at it, half of 8 could be 4, 3, or 0.
Do you smoke? Smokers: "Yes." Non-Smokers: "Never have, never will." Stoners: "Smoke what?"
DAAAAY-OH! DAAaay-oh! Monday come and me wanna go home.
Hand sanitizer: the cut finder.