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I`ll drink enough for both of us, because I`m just a caring person.
It is totAlly unnecessary to put a PM after 23:00.
Why is there an eject button on the DVD remote? I still have to get up and take the disc out. It`s like having a remote to open the fridge.
They should make a medal for anyone who uses an entire tube of chapstick without losing it.
In today`s world, the key to success is to delete your Whatsapp account!
Lazy fact #128540162, You were too lazy to read that number.
Remember, laughter is the best medicine. Unless you have diarrea.
Ya know once the toothpaste is out of the tube, it´s hard to get it back in.
"Is that for here or to go?" —Real estate agent selling a mobile home
Don’t be upset that you’re single; be happy that someone isn’t ruining your life.
You haven`t truly made it on YouTube until someone recognizes you in the unemployment line and asks for your autograph.
I’m taking care of my procrastination issues; just you wait and see.
Two wrongs may not make a right, but two Wrights made an airplane.
Hello everyone. Look at your status, now back to mine, now back to yours, now back to mine. Sadly, yours isn’t mine. But if you stopped posting about other things and made this your status, yours could be like mine. Look down, back up. Where are you? You’re on Facebook, reading the status your status could be like.
Don`t be sad, laundry. Nobody is doing me either.