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You all take typos way too serious, you gays.
Everybody stop what you`re doing and play with crayons!! Enjoy the day
That awkward moment when you make a Harry Potter reference and none of your Muggle friends get it.
Behind every crazy woman is a man that made her that way.
Drinking lots of beer and doing my taxes. So far the Government owes me 3.1 million. I love this Country!
Based on the condition of my hair in the morning, I`d say there`s a 100% chance my hair has more fun than I do when I sleep.
What do sleeping and sex have in common? I`m not getting nearly enough of either.
Never believe a person who claims is telling the truth while holding a pack of beers in both their hands
At the Touch of Love..Everyone Becomes a Poet !
But..At the Touch of Breakup Everyone Becomes a Philosopher... ^_^
After all these years, I`m beginning to suspect that Waldo doesn`t want to be found.
The key to my heart is shaped like a bottle opener.
I`ve come to the sad realization nobody will ever triumphantly pour Gatorade on me for any reason
Dear eyelashes, wishbones, dandelions, pennies, shooting stars, 11:11, and birthday candles ... Do your damn job.
Put your gossiping skills to the test, go write a novel...
My parents never asked me to run away from home, but there were many unexplained one way tickets.