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If it hurts when you pee, urine trouble.
I`m so unlucky with women? I visited a massage parlour the other day..and they told me it was "self - service"
if you hold a dinner fork really close to your eyes, you can pretend that they`re in jail
I wanted to say thank you to all the people who gave me a reason to drink this Friday night.
Started a new exercise routine yesterday. So far I`ve only missed one day.
I wonder if the clouds ever look down on us and say "Hey look! ...that one`s shaped like an idiot!"?
Hey NFL, solution to your recent problem, start allowing players to hit each other on the field again
I am pretty sure dry cleaning is a scam where they just laugh and rub money on your clothes then hang them back up in a plastic bag.
I got in touch with my feminine side today... I made myself a sandwich.
I am used but in good condition.
Our sex was so good, the neighbors smoked after we finished.
If someone tells you “it’s better than sex” they’re not doing the sex right.
Some psychologists say that sleeping naked can help boost a person`s confidence, but nobody in this park seems to appreciate it.
Ummm,, Can we just admit we may have taken this anybody can grow up to be President thing a bit too far.
Like many people, I used to want to be famous, but after this year, I`m quite happy to be have been such a failure.