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Still haven`t taken down the Christmas tree. Screw it. We now have a Super Bowl tree.
Wisdom is understanding that a tomato is a fruit, but you don`t add it in a fruit salad.
Gatorade always has athletes in their commercials sweating and working hard. They really should target their real consumer. A Fat guy on the couch nursing a hangover. Is it in you?
This status is mine....I licked it.
The number one key to a successful marriage is alcoholism.
Relationships, Marriages, work and children are what keep alcohol companies in business.
I`m leaving my body to science fiction
A lot of attractive people are like nice cars with the check engine light on.
Famous words from Fergie... "Boom Boom Pow!" Happy 4th of July!!
"Well that can`t be right." - dogs watching us catching balls with our hands
Every time someone says "Have a nice day!", I yell "DON`T F**KING TELL ME WHAT TO DO!"
It`s such a beautiful day I had to open the window while I watched TV
I hate when a website has a picture that you can click and enlarge. Then the "enlarged picture" is the same exact size as the thumbnail!
The most exercise I get from my exercise ball is when I move it around in my apartment so that it`s not in my way.
It would be so cool to be able to see an album of all the pictures you’ve accidentally photobombed in public.