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So if one was to type ‘idiot’ into Google, would your picture come up?
To be truthful from deep down ... I don`t believe that paper beats rock.
My mom put shredded carrots in our Jello, so don`t tell me about your rough childhood.
The best things in life are free, but they still screw you on shipping.
Great. Trapped in an elevator with a dead body again. Well not exactly dead yet but he`s making noises with his gum
At a wedding reception someone yelled: “All the married men please stand next to the person that made your life worth living” The bartender was nearly crushed to death.
Was late to my first Fight Club last night so missed the intro rules. Still, Fight Club was brilliant and I`d highly recommend Fight Club.
It’s only a matter of time until “Security Cameras of Wal-Mart” is a reality TV show.
It`s not often you see a pink poo in your bowl & realize that not everything is edible from the sex shop
My online dating profile is just a picture of my ex-wife and the words "NOT THIS."
My life is a very complicated drinking game
How do we know that all the ancient Greek sculptures aren`t just victims of Medusa?
I will probably die as a result of being sarcastic to the wrong person at the wrong time.
Women my age expect a man to have his sh!t together by now. Time to start dating younger women.
Do you think all the giraffes sit around and watch Margaret in Nebraska give birth?