Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Don`t half a$$ anything. F*ck it up all the way.
The problem with some people is that they`re breathing.
I try to find the good in every situation. Wait. That was a typo. I meant “food.” I try to find the food in every situation.
If ignorance really was bliss we`d have a lot more really happy people around here.
It`s really quite simple ... I do what I want! ... The End.
Remember kids- Respect your fathers! Besides, before you came out of your moms, you came out of your dad.
Sometimes the smartest thing you can do is play dumb.
His idea of cleanliness is sweeping the room with a glance.
The wife and I just got divorced. We split the house ... I got the outside.
I know you shouldn`t text and drive but I`ve only had 2-3 texts tonight, tops, so I should be okay to drive.
A synonym is a word you use when you can´t spell the word you first thought of.
ooooh boy, Mother`s Day hangovers...always the worst huh?!
Apparently the ``All you can eat buffet`` isn`t a challenge ...
I just googled, "understanding women," the computer crashed.