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People around me think I`m losing it. So today, I had to sit myself down and have a talk.
By 5, the human child can walk and feed itself, but doesn`t yet stray from home, as it relies on parents for tablet charging and maintenance
I`ve been holding my stomach in for 3 years now so don`t talk to me about dedication
No matter how little I do in a day. I always feel like I could have done less.
Im not sure Im comfortable with the fact that there is now a bunch of people in white coats furiously scribbling notes behind a big glass window while im talking to my therapist. Im suppose to just "ignore" them.
None of the animals I designed and invented are at the zoo. Do they even check the suggestion box?
Pandora has spoiled me. Five seconds into any conversation and I`m looking for the thumbs-down button.
If you respond to coworkers asking how your weekend was with turkey noises, they leave you alone.
Walmart made plans to hire 100,000 U.S. Veterans. Which can only mean one thing: Walmart is going to invade Costco.
If all men are created equal then why are there midgets?
B!tch life isn`t a garden ... So stop being a hoe!
You had me at "do we need to stop at the liquor store on the way to your place"
If lemons hand you life, you’re probably dyslexic
Tell a therapist, Not Facebook.
You think you have a tough job? I clean the windows on automatic doors.