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Ok but how old is your child in minutes?
My internet addiction is getting alt of ctl.
Somedays I could do without the life lesson
Why doesn’t The Rock just tell us what he’s cooking? I can’t pair wines like this.
I went to see a psychiatrist today. He told me I had a split personality and charged me $160. I gave him $80, and told him to get the rest from the other a$$hole!
I can`t believe I was late for work tomorrow..
"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, & nothing but the truth" ... I choose dare, your honor
My parents told me: “You’ve got to stop watching so much TV, and read more!” so I turned on the subtitles.
The funniest thing about this Facebook status is by the time you realize it doesn`t say anything important, it`s to late for you to stop reading it ... sucker
Go to O`Reilly Auto Parts website and type, `121G` in the search bar.
I got a letter in the mail saying I was pre-approved for a Walmart Credit Card. Not sure if I should be honored or ashamed.
The correct answer to "How are you?" is "Fine." If you ever stray from that dialogue, please know that nobody gives a sh!t.
I`m a firm believer that if something takes 10 minutes to cook on 200 degrees then it should only take 5 minutes to cook on 400 degrees
I just watched my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes and thought, "Wow, dogs are easily entertained." Then I realized I just watched my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes.
The future is that time when you’ll wish you’d done what you aren’t doing now.