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Did anyone hear the one about the cross dresser? The happiest day in his life was when he finally got into his girlfriend`s pants.
I read that a banana a day will help keep your colon clean. I just wish they would’ve mentioned that you’re supposed to eat them.....
The only thing worse than dramatic girls facebook statuses…dramatic guys Facebook statuses.
Two Best Advices For Safe Life : 1. Always Speak The Truth, No Matter How Bitter Harsh It Is ... 2. Run Immediately After Saying It..
Remember, You’re only young once, but you can be immature forever.
Have we even tried giving Mother Nature a Snickers?
I’m a proud supporter of messy hair and sweatpants.
The woman in the Superman underwear next to me does not quite understand how white pants work.
What if the stickers are the only thing Made In China?
I’m the king of balancing more trash on top of an already full trash can.
The wife almost caught me browsing on Facebook, but I quickly clicked over to a porn site. That was close.
I don’t have a problem with friends who ask to borrow money. I love a good laugh as much as the next guy.
Going to Colorado this weekend to go ... "Hiking"
My girlfriend isn`t much of a wrestler but you should see her box!!
Back in my day we rode our bikes without helmets and we turned out fine. And you know what else? Back in my day we rode our bikes without helmets and we turned out fine.