Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I may love you...but everyone else thinks you suck! I was kidding... I think you suck too.
Remember that one time the cops pulled you over, then let you go because they had a more interesting call. You are welcome.
Googling ways to dispose of a body, mostly to freak out the douche behind me who keeps staring at my laptop screen
Imagine how freaked out the first human must of been on the first sneeze.
500 + friends... and not one of you saw where I put the remote?
Don`t care what your religious or political beliefs are, if you`re male or female, young or old. I will tackle you hard for that last donut.
Nothing shall separate me from the love of beer...
Roses are red, this much is true, Violets are purple, not f*cking blue
Relax… We’re all crazy.. It’s not a competition.
Somewhere, right this minute, someone is reading this sentence.
I hate it when totally random strangers ask me stupid questions like "Why are you licking me?"
If you have really strong opinions on subjects that you know very little about... then Facebook just may be the perfect thing for you.
Sometimes I wrestle with my demons. Other times we just snuggle.
Adult: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.
I try to always be the bigger person by hanging out with a lot of short people.