Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Stop saying `all the men are the same` who told you to try them all..WHORE!!?Āæ
When a woman asks you to guess her age, it`s like deciding whether to cut the blue, red, or green wire to diffuse a bomb
Well, if you count Elmer Fudd singing "Kill the Wabbit" then yes, I do like opera.
I might be a day late and a dollar short, but it is still my personal best.
"I guess you`re right." - No one on the internet ever
I try not to be rude, but some people make it hard work.
Cooking Tip: If you`re tired of always having to boil water everytime you make pasta, boil a few gallons at the beginning of the week and freeze it for later ... you`re welcome!
Break the ice in a crowded elevator by asking how much everyone weighs.
Walking past a new employee`s desk & yelling, "Do you think it`s a good idea to be surfing porn on your first day?" will never get old.
I`ll never fly Virgin Airlines. Why would anyone want to fly an airline that doesn`t go all the way.
Studies show that people who want tribal tattoos are directly related to living under a rock
Iām not going to vacuum until Sears makes one you can ride on.
Sorry, just got your text. Are we still on for last night?
The most frightening thing about nightmares is realizing that they were created by your mind.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put it in the fruit salad.