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It must be really hard to judge a wet t-shirt contest because I saw one recently and all the t-shirts looked equally wet.
My dream job would be the Karma delivery service
If weed is ever legalized, I can`t wait to see the commercials...
Mistakes married men make: 1. Doing things. 2. Not doing things. 3. Thinking about doing things. 4. Not thinking about doing things.
Why is it called a "personal trainer", instead of an "exercist"?
This "doing nothing" is hard work, how am I supposed to know when I`m done?
It only takes 3.5 inches to please a woman, it doesn`t matter if its Visa or Mastercard.
You laugh because you think it’s a joke. I laugh because you think I’m joking.
Look Bruce, just because you call it the "Batcave" doesn`t change the fact that you still live in your parents basement.
Not one back to school special on beer. What kind of world do we live in.
I wish I loved anything as much as rappers love female dogs and gardening tools.
I may be crazy but I say if you can`t talk to yourself, who can you talk to.
Not so great minds also think alike.
I went frisbee golfing today. I didn`t get an ace, but I did hit a guy and that was just as satisfying.
I just bought some new deodorant yesterday. The instructions said to remove the top and push up bottom. My butt hurts now but every time I fart the room smells awesome.