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I spend a lot of time holding the refrigerator door open looking for the answer.
"It seemed like a good idea at the time"............................... An often used phrase in a lot of my memories.
I do all of my ironing in the dryer.
Wishing you a fabulous 2014 that is full of great achievements and experiences. A meaningful chapter waiting to be written HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I`m in therapy to learn how to deal with people who should be in therapy
Chaos, panic, & disorder – my work here is done.
Oh, you think you have relationship problems? Try separating me from my bed in the morning...
Just hung a picture. I nailed it.
Sometime when I`m home alone I like to fill my bathtub with spaghetti and pretend I`m a meatball.!
Lay-Z: My rapper name.
When I think of a selfie, I`m not sure it`s the same thing you`re thinking of
I tried to be a Rap Singer once. Sadly my rap album, `I Respect the Police & the Risks They Take to Keep My Community Safe`, didn`t do too well on iTunes.
Johnny : Pull my finger Tommy : No Johnny: "Come Bro Do IT!!" Tommy : fine ... Johnny : *SNEEZE IN THE FACE*
You don’t truly know someone until you see how they react to their bag of chips getting stuck in a vending machine.
Save some time and just put your Taco Bell directly in the toilet.