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I don`t know which is worse... waiting for someone to get out of the bathroom so you can use it or hearing them say "come in" when you knock on the bathroom door...
Puttin the `eff it` in efficient today.
HardCoreStrategy 22 hours ago 6 3? Guys are? in a cafe. The first guy says "I?? have the smallest arm in the? world." The second guy says I have the?? smallest head in? the world." The third guy says I have the smallest d^ck in the world. They all? go to? the Guinness Book of World records. The? first? guy comes back and says I really? have the smallest arm in the world. The seconds guy? returns and? says? I have the smallest head in the world. The third guy comes back? and angrily?? says WHO? T
Why are people with BAD breath always wanting to tell me a secret?
How long do I microwave this 14 lb turkey?
Would stiff nipples be a good name for my air conditioning company?
The only thing I hate worse than holding a girl`s purse is when it doesn`t match what I`m wearing.
I just gave my kid ice cream because she wouldn`t stop crying. Sorry, whoever she winds up marrying.
If you were a cookie, you’d be a whoreo.
Well, well, well. Guess who the grocery store clerk asked to come back soon?
The number of things that are *NOT* rocket science is staggering.
Nothing makes me more productive than the last minute.
I want to meet the guy at Hewlett Packard who decides how many minutes of strange noises their printers make before printing 1 page.
Im really not just some idiot with nothing better to do with my time, I just play one in FB.
My school always awarded dictionaries to the spelling bee winners. Which was weird because it should actually be awarded to the losers.