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If you see someone wearing camouflage, make sure to walk right into them so they know it`s working.
It`s really ironic that I mostly use my driver`s license to buy stuff that impairs my ability to drive.
If my "friends" post just two more scripture quotes on Facebook, I will have officially read the entire bible.
I`m off to get my beauty sleep. Yeah, I know...I`m already so beautiful you can`t stand it! I promise...a little more isn`t lethal...yet! ;) Goodnight!
Where do all the ice cream men go in winter?
I watched my first porn movie today. I looked so much younger back then.
There is no time like the present for postponing what you ought to be doing.
Yes, my attitude could stand some improvement but my insurance does not cover those meds.
I`d take a stupid dog over a stupid person any day.
Jobs are like relationships. You have them, you cry about it. You don’t have them, you cry about it.
You know its Monday when your left eye wont open and your right eye is twitching.
You know I feel the frustration that The Skipper endured because there are days that I too am surrounded by Gilligans
It`s amazing the things I can remember when I don`t need to remember anything.
You know, rumor has it that the Mona Lisa may have been the first selfie.
100 years ago everyone owned a horse and only the rich had cars. Today everyone has cars and only the rich own horses. The stables have turned.