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Reasons to get out of bed: Food.
If I could be anyone else in the whole world, I would still be me so that I wouldn`t have to buy new clothes.
You can`t choose your family but you can choose a hitman.
If I pay $30 for a haunted house I better die.
Nothing gets me motivated for 10-15 seconds like a good inspirational quote.
When life gives you melons, wear a low cut top.
Gift cards are still the best way to say "I`m too lazy to think of a good gift and I think you`ll buy drugs if I give you cash."
The pizza guy just said "see u tomorrow" ...
For a generation that allowed YOLO, BAE, and KIM KARDASHIAN to happen, you sure have a lot of f*cking opinions on how things should be run.
Black, white, gay, straight, Christian, Jewish... It doesn`t matter. It`s all good. But a Pepsi drinker...
When someone tries to tell me they can`t do something, I`m like "you ever hear of the Power of Grayskull?"
Anyone else find it odd that on Star Trek, when they "boldly go where no one has gone before" they always end up meeting someone?
Pizza is like sex, when it is good it`s very good, When it`s bad...it`s still pretty good.
A lifetime of fire drills has prepared me to completely ignore the alarm during a real fire.
Besides being curled up on the bathroom floor convinced I was dying from liver failure for a few hours, last night was fun.