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"Haha" - me when I don`t understand the reference
that awkward moment when you`re scuba diving and you see Adele rolling in the deep.
“They dared me to” is ALWAYS a valid excuse.
Just heard about the Obamacare deadline and I`m freaking out. I have so many questions. Who is Obama?
My moral compass must run on solar power because it never seems to work after dark.
Tip of the day: When there’s a will…find a way to be in it!
Selfie... Because it`s important to realize that it`s not the photographer who is making you look ugly.
Let`s party like there`s no tomorrow and call in sick if there is one.
I was jogging earlier and...LMAO, I`m sorry...I can`t start a status with such ridiculousness.
Guy advice #221: Starting a load of laundry in the washing machine and then starting a load in the dryer counts as `2 loads` - just sayin`!
My New Years resolution is to stop procrastinating so much.
She said there`s no difference between turkey bacon and regular bacon, and now I`m supposed to just "forget about it"?
Studies show that people who want tribal tattoos are directly related to living under a rock
"Hi, I`m here to ruin your life" - Social media
“I’m sorry” and “my bad” mean the same thing… Unless you’re at a funeral.