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My day so far: 1) Jumped out of bed 2) Cooked breakfast 3) Ran 6 miles 4) Worked out 5) Started lying compulsively
Either I need to up my dosage or my income.
Your eyes are so beautiful. If you look deep enough i can see my own reflection...
When you are on a first date and she says to you: “I want you to treat me like a movie star,” it is vitally important to establish which type of movie.
I gauge a person’s wealth by the level of protection on their iPhone. No case, huge salary.
Congratulations! I`ve finally snapped, and you`re first on my list!
Hey ladies, I just love "Austrailian" kissing...it`s a lot like "French" kissing only Down Under!
Having kids is like being at a press conference: "No, you can`t put the dog in the washer - next question." "No, you can`t really fly -next"
Never forget that we live in a world in which it is easier to get out of a marriage than a mobile-phone contract.
According to science the atoms in my body contain the energy of 30 hydrogen bombs, and yet, not enough energy to get up early and go jogging.
I`m still trying to get over the fact that oranges are pre-sliced by nature.
You can either agree with me, or you can be wrong.
I love my six pack abs so much that I cover them with a layer of fat .
The longer a Woman takes to get ready, the easier it is to piss her off.. it`s Science
If I get a million likes on Facebook......not a damn thing will change.