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I figured out the chemical composition of Holy Water. It`s H2OMG
I don`t like the term "stalker". I prefer "unpaid private investigator".
Most people don`t think I`m as old as I am until they hear me stand up.
All the coffee beans in South America can`t make me a morning person.
The secret to success is in my bra.
I shurvivfed the dentisht wivout any notishable shide affecshss.
Guys...dont mess up and buy her the wrong brand of vacuum cleaner for Valentines Day this year. Spend a little extra for a really good one ... Just tring to help.
If Starbucks delivered, I would be a morning person.
My baby girl is so polite. I told her she needed to share and she said "No, thank you"
Tell a girl she pretty she`ll believe it for a minute. Tell a girl she has Miley Cyrus` butt she`ll believe it for a lifetime
I got food poisoning today. I don’t know when I’ll use it though.
Don’t get me started. I don’t come with brakes.
Thank God I still have a few days left to achieve my goal of “going to the gym in 2014.”
For an "adult" bookstore, this place has a LOT of picture books
I like when job applications have a “Some College” option so they know I’m an aimless loser.