Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I´m not cheap, but I am on special this week
We live in an era of smart phones and stupid people.
"Waiter, I`d like to send this back" -m`am, I believe that`s your husband.
3 shots of vodka can erase 8 hours of rage in 15 minutes. That’s all the math you really need to know.
I would explain it to you again, but I am fresh out of puppets and crayons.
9 out of 10 husbands agree that their wives are always right. The 10th one hasn`t been seen since the study was conducted.
200 pictures of you at the bar and 2 pictures with your kids. You must be quite the mom.
Why haven’t we just found someone ballsy enough to dress up as Mrs Bigfoot and catch him already?
I put my head between my legs and lean forward.....thats how I roll
There is no evidence that exists that life should be taken seriously.
As I slid my finger slowly down her G string, I thought to myself "this is a nice guitar"
According to my nipples, there is a 99% chance it`s cold as hell right now!
We should start seeing Valentine`s Day crap in the stores any minute now.
I like how Reese`s come with two peanut butter cups in the package. That way I can eat one now and then the other one right afterwards.
Just burned 3 calories typing this with my thumb muscles. #fitness