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I thought I was a bit hardcore until I saw this guy sucking on a soy sauce packet like an Otter Pop.
Every novel is a mystery novel if you never finish it
Nothing says poor life choices like the guy with the half smoked cigarette behind his ear
If you are stalking me, please keep up, I have a lot of errands today.
As long as everything is exactly the way I want it. I`m totally flexible.
All this time I thought Bi-Polar was a big white bear with no sexual preference.
When you`re tucking your kids in at night, read them a few select Facebook statuses, kiss them on the forehead and whisper "This is why we must stay in school."
MY 8 YEAR OLD: "Walrus testicles are called walnuts."
Shall I compare thee to a Summer`s Eve? For thou art a douche.
Don`t forget to turn your clocks back today if you want them to be set to the wrong time.
If wookies have a 400 year life span, then Han Solo is basically like Chewbacca`s third dog.
The awkward moment when people think you`re drunk when in fact you`re just a blast naturally.
Please help control the pet population, have that special talk with your pet!
Every photo taken inside my house has at least one laundry basket in the background.
Dear karma, I have a list of people you missed.