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Unfortunately, showing that much cleavage doesn`t fix your face.
If I had a mood ring on today, it`d be flashing like a disco ball!
Roses are red, violets are blue, If i had a brick id throw it at you.
I miss being the age when I thought I would have my sh!t together by the age I am now.
Is it too late to wrap myself up like a baby and drop myself off on a billionaire’s doorstep?
Families should be able to trade people, just like professional sports teams.
My life has a great cast, but I can’t really figure out the plot.
I wonder when people without cars pick their noses…
We must STOP the driver of that bus that everyone keeps getting thrown under!
I have a dream that one day I won`t have to work on MLK Day.
It’s been “one of those days” for like 3 years now.
Apparently, my wife has friend zoned me...
Women should run the world. That will give men more time to drink beer and watch sports.
If you heard twenty minutes of moaning from my bedroom that was just me trying to stand up.
Ever noticed that `beer can` in a british accent sounds exactly like `bacon` in a jamaican accent?