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Since there’s only one of me, does that make me an endangered species?
Just came to the realization that with their ridiculous fees, I`m tipping my ATM more than my bartender.
I wake up every morning with the joy & excitement of wanting to go directly back to sleep.
I finally stopped caring what other people think. I hope everyone`s ok with that.
I`m convinced some people got married just so they could gripe about being married...
Flies only live for 24 hours.. Except for the ones that get in your room. Those bastards live forever.
went to the book store earlier to buy a Where´s Waldo book. When I got there, I couldn´t find the book anywhere. Well played Waldo, well played.
If you see someone crying, ask them if it is because of their haircut.
Wives give sound advice. 99% sound, 1% advice.
I may have no one rocking my world right now, but I have no one ruining it either!
I hate it when TV shows say they contain "adult situations" but then don`t show anyone going to a job they hate, and paying their bills.
I`d stop disappointing you, if you stopped expecting me to do stuff.
When I die I want someone to play that little death jingle from Mario Bros at my funeral.
There are weight limits on car seats, airlines, skydiving, military, horseback riding, kayaks, and bikes……how is it there are no weight limit on high heels?
I smile because your my daughter. I laugh because there`s nothing you can do about it. ;)