Daily Silly Status

I`ve just borrowed a book on surgery from my local library. Apparently someone`s taken the appendix out.

Shopping tip: You can get shoes for a buck at bowling alleys.

My brain is giving me the silent treatment today.

Have I posted my Alzheimers joke yet?

My mind is exceptionally quiet.... I am suspicious that I am up to something I don`t want myself to know about.

I ran into my ex the other day. I could have sworn the light was green.

I eat bananas with a fork, so I don`t look gay.

Screw you recommended serving size. You don’t know me.

I may be crazy but I say if you can`t talk to yourself, who can you talk to.

A homeless guy just asked me for money, and I almost gave it to him, but then I thought... he`s just going to use it for alcohol, and then I thought... That`s what I`m going to use it for.

Another funny thing about this status is when you finally realize that it talks about nothing? its all ready too late to stop reading. lol

You know a guy likes you when his pants give you a thumbs up ;)

Ladies...when I say bless you after a sneeze, just say Thank you, instead of wondering where in the bushes that just came from.

So your baby doesn`t know any tricks at all?

My dance moves are somewhere between “dog being shocked by an electric fence” and “squirrel crossing the road.”