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Why don`t prison inmates just use liquid soap?
Is going to bed! Hopefully the Cleaning Fairies will come and clean my house tonight! Wishful Dreaming i guess!
I`ve been knocking for ten minutes. Don`t people answer their bathroom windows anymore?
I find it most unfair that the dentist in this neighborhood hands out toothbrushes for Halloween but the pharmacist doesn`t hand out drugs.
To this day, the boy that used to bully me at school still takes my lunch money. On the plus side, he makes a great Subway sandwich.
Women have a lot more experience dealing with bloodstains than men. Men are convicted of murder a lot more than women. Coincidence?
On your birthday I think the Airlines should let you exit the plane on the inflatable slide.
My dream job is a pharmacy cashier & yelling for a price check every time someone checks out anal ointment, condoms, & men buying maxi pads.
Peppermint Schnapps, the mouthwash you can swallow
I only use elevators for one thing. Surprise group hugs
I was halfway through a recipe when I read the instruction "Now chill in fridge for at least two hours". I only managed 30 minutes. I was freezing.
Before you have any hope for the future of humanity, come and look at how this guy parked.
Soon ovens will come with webcams and wireless connections so that posting photos of your dinner will be even easier.
Relationship status: Just kissed my cat and he got up and moved to the other end of the couch.
Step 1 Change your wifi password to blowmefirst. Step 2 Wait for someone to ask for your wifi password.