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Look up procrastinator on Wikipedia and you`ll see a picture of me. Well there isn’t yet, but there will be. Probably by tomorrow. Maybe Tuesday.
I love how stars are billions of miles apart and we`re like "that`s a soup ladle".
Car horns were invented 1% for safety and 99% because people get pissed off sometimes and need to let a mofo know.
i don`t care if u don`t like me ........... i am not a facebook status:D
This by far is your most f*ck up idea ever ... I`ll be there in 10 minutes.
I bought a huge plastic Christmas tree today! the shop assistant asked me if I was going to put it up myself? I told him "Don`t be stupid, i`m gonna put it in the lounge room"
"But why?" - Me at weddings
POLITICS; from `poly` meaning `many and `Tics` meaning blood-sucking creatures. Just sayin`
You make me wanna be a better stalker. No, seriously. Slow the f*ck down.
Every so often you come across a person that supplies you with endless motivation, even if it is just to jump into traffic.
Some days, the supply of available curse words is insufficient to meet my demands.
That frustrating feeling when the microwave trips the circuit breaker and you have no idea how much longer your lunch needs to be nuked.
Its better to have loved and lost, then stay with that psyco for one more sec
If you`re confident enough, every zoo is a petting zoo.
I sure could help a lot of needy people if I won the big Powerball draw. Mainly sales people needing a commission, but still...