Daily Silly Status

I think the cats are hording all the single women out there...

I`m not Unemployed, I`m just taking my next job`s vacation in advance...

I heard Disney bought and are relocating the White House to Disneyland. They Say, it will be the new Center Piece of FANTASY LAND.

Waking up an hour early gives you an extra hour to wish you were still in bed.

You ever make fun of someone so much, you think you should thank them for all the good times you’ve had?

I was going to do some spring cleaning, but the snow has ruined it for me.

Life before the computer: Memory was something that you lost with age. An application was for employment. A program was a TV show. A cursor used profanity. A keyboard was a piano. A web was a spider’s home. A virus was the flu. A CD was a bank account. A hard drive was a long trip on the road. A mouse pad was where a mouse lived. And if you had a 3 1/2 inch floppy…you just hoped nobody found out.

Just seen a homeless dude with a sign that said “too ugly to prostitute”

I once bought shoes in China that said "made around the corner"

It doesn`t matter if you don`t like my personality... I have several more!

Lower your expectations and I will totally amaze you.

I’m not surprised you’re having problems I had a bad experience with your reality once too.

Did you know you can go to any gym without having to announce it on Facebook?

Every morning I swallow a piece of paper that says "Keep up the good work fellas!!" just in case I die and the doctors have to do an autopsy on me

Opposites attract, that`s the trouble with being awesome