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I`m kind of clueless about pop culture. I thought "Hogwarts" was an STD
Every time i see a person kneeling over tying their shoe, i run up behind them and hop over them to try and get a game of leapfrog going.
Question : if you fart at the gym can people wearing headphones still smell it? Asking for a friend
I think stupid people were put on this planet to test my anger management skills.
As often as I lose lighters and sunglasses, it`s a good thing I never had kids. Or did I?
sorry but your password must contain an "uppercase letter, a number, a haiku, a gang sign, a hieroglyph, and the blood of a virgin"
So those numbers on sports jerseys are how many people each player has killed or what.
I said "sad face emoji" instead of actually frowning today if you want to know how out of touch with reality I am.
Everything I like is expensive, illegal, or won’t text me back.
Sometime you have to hand it to short people ... because they can`t reach.
cuss words = sentence enhancers
When I`m cleaning my room, 1% cleaning 29% moaning 70% playing with stuff I just found.
I`d say that most of my mistakes can be traced back to when I decided to get out of bed. ... just sayin! ;)
In the trailer for the fourth Transformers movie a guy says "what the hell is that" when a Transformer approaches. THE FOURTH MOVIE!
Procrastination: when "make a bucket list" is on your bucket list.