Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Before the internet I used to like people.
I don’t care if it’s 4 A.M. I don’t consider it “tomorrow” until I wake up.
Always look for the girl with the ponytail holder on her wrist.
I hate people that take drugs, specially U.S. Customs and the D.E.A.
can be sympathetic, empathetic, compassionate, welcoming, loyal, trust-worthy, forgiving, understanding, and giving. But not to today!
I have no problem admitting that you made a mistake.
If my psychiatrist said "There`s really nothing more I can do for you", that means I`m cured right??
Why do people post pictures of missing people on facebook?...like we are going outside.
Just think of how different the world would be if Noah had eaten those two chickens.
BESTFRIEND: the one you can get mad at only for a short period because you have important stuff to tell them.
If a clown farts, does it smell funny?
Just taught my kids about taxes by eating 38% of their ice cream.
Cookies and porn are always better when they`re homemade!
If at first you don’t succeed, try doing it the way I told you to.
Wal-Mart: Because going to Target requires a shower.