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If zombies ever do attack just go to Costco, they have walls, years of food and supplies, and zombies can’t get in without a Costco membership.
Welcome to journalism, where everything is made up, and the sources don`t matter.
This is a test of the emergency broadcast system. Were this to be an actual emergency you’d be screwed, because no one takes this seriously.
No officer, my speech isn`t slurred. I`m just talking in cursive.
I`m thinkin` Dodgeball........... but with random people..........who don`t know they are playing.............
Life is not fair. But life is not fair for everyone, which actually makes it fair.
The average human uses less than 10 percent of the remote.
I just saw a woman at Walmart with March Madness teeth ... She was down to the final four.
So far, I`ve had exactly "call my ex" number of beers tonight!!!
I hate when I oversleep at work and get home late.
I don`t have dirty mind ...I just hav a sexy imagination. ..
Pregnancy test confirmed me my worst fear.......I`m just fat
Since everything is closed for Thanksgiving I’m going to drive around and park in all the good spots I never get.
If by a blow job you mean blowing everything out of proportion then yes I totally rock at blow jobs.
I`m no magician but I can walk down the street and turn into a bar!