Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
One of my biggest fear is being chased by Usain Bolt during zombie apocalypse.
I miss being the age when I thought I would have my sh!t together by the age I am now.
You know nothing about a woman, until she is drunk and mad at you.
Having plans sounds like a good idea until you have to put on clothes and leave your house...
I`m pretty sure the whole "ladies first" thing was created by a guy just to check out girls butts.
Not sure what to do with all the daylight we are saving.
The best curve on a girl is her smile ;) ... Lol just kidding!
Light travels faster than sound. That`s why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
A bunch of us are going out for pancakes when Facebook is over, if you want to come along.
It isn`t a successful BBQ until some drunken idiot walks face first into a closed sliding glass door. I`m fine by the way.
I`m getting sick of these porn sites listing my videos as "amateur".
B!tch, I will slap you by accident on purpose.
Decided to cut back on my beer drinking. Fortunately, this martini is helping me through this tough time.
Facebook keeps telling me people are following me. But, every time I look behide me there`s nobody there? Why does facebook keep lying to me?
Took my 3rd self-defense class, so if anyone feels like attacking me straight on, very slowly, w/ a fake knife in their right hand, BRING IT