Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Most problems can be solved with nudity
Don’t text and drive. You don’t want “lol” to be the last thing you say before you die.
When girls have a great night out, they talk about it for months. When guys have a great night out, that night will never be spoken of.
If you give me a phone number or directions while I`m on the phone with you, just know that I`m using my very best finger pen and air paper.
Every time a clerk asks "Did you find everything you need?" I always answer "No, I couldn`t find a hug"
Is running in front of cars some sort of gang initiation for squirrels?
I`m placing myself in "time-out" until I`m able to play nice with others! This may take a few hours as there are stupid people everywhere!
never trust a man in a wheelchair with dirty shoes
Jesus said to love your neighbour like you love yourself. Thats a nice saying but if Martin from next door thinks he`s getting a handjob he can f*ck off!
I’m no Dr. Phil, but I bet if you tell at least 5 people to f*ck off today, you’ll feel better.
Welcome to my bedroom,this is where the magic happens.....and by that I mean this is where I read my Harry Potter books.
just spilled alphabet soup on my keyboard. I`m so confused
Let’s fix the obesity problem AND improve eye-hand coordination by replacing vending machines with claw machines, make people earn snacks.
When it comes to speaking Spanish I know the essentials. "Taco, nacho, burrito, cheeto, frito & no comprendo."
For our next trick, we should hack into North Korea`s TV system and put Jersey Shore on repeat...