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Actually, The quickest way to fix that annoying noise in your car is ... Just open the door and push her out.
Beer and a 44 magnum with an everclear shot makes everything good like Nintendo
Hey, Dude who flips me off for honking at him in the parking lot, your groceries are on top of your car.
My neighbors listen to some excellent music. Whether they like it or not.
You can learn a lot from a person especially when you watch them through high powered binoculars, I`m just saying.
Down on yourself for being lazy? Keep in mind the Greeks believed their GODS lived atop a very hikeable mountain and no one went to check.
Just found out my daughter`s super power is repeating what I`ve said about others as soon as she meets them.
Hey,,,, I said I`d be there in 10 minutes... Quit calling me every half hour.
It’s not you. It’s my ears. They just make you sound so boring and dull.
If you`re behind someone at an ATM at night, let them know you`re not a threat by gently kissing their neck.
The number of red lights you will hit while driving are directly proportional to how bad you have to pee.
My Facebook weather forecast looks like I can expect 2 or 3 inches of drama tonight followed by a lot of bullsh!t blowing in from all directions in the morning.
If at first you don’t succeed, you shouldn’t diffuse bombs.
How many Weight Watcher points are in an entire bottle of wine?
If we meet offline and you look nothing like your photos, you`re buying me drinks until you do.