Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I miss the good old days when we blamed Marilyn Manson for all our problems.
FITNESS TIP: Set a regular gym schedule that`s easy to keep up with. For example, I work out once every 4 years after I vote for president.
I`m pretty sure my guardian angel just sits there watching me suffer, while rolling her eyes and painting her nails.
A wireless bra? They weren`t tricky enough, now I need a password?
I used to drink a lot in the 80s. Then I realized, who cares what the temperature is?
Hmmmm what should I buy myself for Valentines day.
Someday we’ll look back on all this and pretend not to remember it.
I found $40 in my jeans. The kid in me says "Buy dart guns and candy", but the adult in me says "Buy vodka, dart guns and candy".
When I was your age, we drank water straight out of the sink.
I go into Best Buy and ask "Where are your most expensive yet least guarded items?" Then someone is always nearby when I have questions.
Can you imagine being cryogenically frozen and waking up 100 years later? Your hairstyle would be so outdated, how embarrassing.
Eww!!! Beer does NOT taste good on Cocoa Puffs! ..I`m switching back to my Fruit Loops! ;)
I`m a little ticked off, I checked a book about surgery out of the library and when I opened it up I found that someone had taken the appendix out
I wonder if the girls on "16 and pregnant," will come back on "32 and a Grandma."
I’m totally fine with favoritism as long as I’m the favorite.