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My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely.
If I could choose any one mythological creature to become alive & real, I`d have to pick…My girlfriend.
Miracle Whip is a bit of an exaggeration if you ask me.
Didn`t sleep much but I got a few solid hours of worrying done.
All other things being equal, tall people use more soap.
Where have you been all my life? ... Please go back there.
Guys are at their mathematical best when a girl says she is pregnant. Agree or nah??
You heard me right. I said:"Lets agree to disagree." It`s much more polite than:"Whatever, bitch."
Actually according to chemists, alcohol IS a solution…
??q? uo p??oq??? ? ?nq i ??i? ?s?? ??? si si??
The tragedy of Scooby-Doo is that whoever kept supplying criminals with such realistic prosthetic masks was never caught.
"I can`t believe it`s not clutter." ~ A recovering hoarder
You ever wonder why wearing no underwear is called “going commando”? It seems to me it wouldn’t be useful in a combat situation.
What does it mean when you sit next to an elderly woman on the bus and she shakes her head and makes the sign of the cross?
Dear life, When I asked if my day could get worse it was a rhetorical question not a challenge.