Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
A lot of you lose your sh!t and have some pretty epic, public meltdowns. I just wanted to say thanks.
I`m going to start carrying fireworks in my car because sometimes my horn just isn`t enough.
I always try to go the extra mile at work, but my boss always finds me and brings me back.
"This is the ride that killed Jimmy." - me in line, loudly, at amusement parks
If anybody tells you you’re putting too much Parmesan on your pasta, stop talking to them. You don’t need that negativity in your life.
Cheers, to judging people who spell words wrong in their statuses.
Whenever I see a really hot girl with an ugly guy, I think "lottery winner".
I sent that "Ancestry " site some information on my family tree. They sent me back a packet of seeds and suggested that I just start over
If I`ve learned anything from these ghost hunter shows, it’s that everyone speaks English after they die.
I`d be super embarrassed if people saw my google history but only because its all words I should really know how to spell by now
An apple a day will keep anyone away ... if thrown hard enough.
I wish people would stop judging me before they find out how much of an a$$hole I actually am.
If you don`t believe that women will actually fight over a pair of shoes, you`ve never watched The Wizard of Oz!
I should probably do some housework before they try to film the next Febreeze commercial here.
Can you LIKE this status with your elbow? (no cheating)