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Wanna know what it`s like being married? Chain yourself to a wild animal. Now kick the animal.
It`s weird how in England the passenger drives the car
I`m starting group meetings at my house for people who have OCD, not because I have it, but surely one of them will be bothered enough to clean it.
Went to the virgin islands, now they are just the islands.
Sorry, I can`t hangout. My uncle`s cousin`s sister in law`s best friend`s insurance agent`s roommate`s pet goldfish drowned. It was tragic.
You`re never too old to learn stupid sh!t
Was the little pig who built his house out of straw some sort of idiot?
Jesus said to love your neighbour like you love yourself. Thats a nice saying but if Martin from next door thinks he`s getting a handjob he can f*ck off!
Just once I would like to see a liars pants actually catch on fire
Who actually clicks on the "No I am not over 18" links on "adult" pages?
Why Couldn`t Snoop Dogg & Dr.Dre Get On The Bus ... Because They Forgot 50 Cent
COCKADOODLEDOOOOOO!!!!
Laugh now but at the rate they are reproducing, the people of Walmart may one day take over the world.
I’m usually that person who has no idea what’s going on.
My motto for the night ... drink till I no longer think :)