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What´s the difference between light and hard? You can go to bed with a light on.
Transformation Tuesday! Throwback Thursday! Flashback Friday! Never underestimate a woman`s ability to find a reason to post a selfie.
Does the Food Network deliver?
When I say “the other day” I could mean yesterday or 5 years ago there’s no in between.
It`s not difficult to tell crocodiles and alligators apart. One will see you in a while whereas the other will see you later.
How to live a happy life: 1)Do whatever you want 2)Don`t worry 3)Eat whatever you want 4)Don`t take advice from strangers on the internet
Anybody have plans to stare at their phone somewhere exciting this weekend?
I have an alcohol problem, in that I can`t afford any.
I’m glad we can’t smell each other through the internet.
I wonder if tap dancers walk into a room, look at a floor and think, "I`d so tap that."
That awkward moment when the creepy guy in the white van doesn`t have candy...
I went to the store to buy some comdoms and the cashier asked me If I needed a bag ? "I replied No she`s not that ugly"
I didn’t get the job… heading home.. Good Bye Rome.. until we meet again.
It’s a holiday. You know what that means… Ten million status updates saying the exact same thing. Get ready.
I wish karma would send me email notifications.