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You might be addicted to Facebook if you read my post`s every day...
Sometimes I feel like giving up...Then I remember I have a lot of motherf*ckers to prove wrong
Twerking is just shaking your a$$? Why did we need a new word? A$$-shaking has served us well for centuries.
The responsibility of taking out the trash should be left to the person who runs out of ways to fit more trash in the bag.
I hate when I go to pump gas only to find out that the little metal "handle hold up thingy" is broken, so I have actually squeeze and hold the handle. I hate it for two reasons: 1) its gross and i just wanna peel my hand skin off like gloves when im done. 2) it makes me realize how lazy I am.
I am, have to avoid the leg cramps during sex, years old.
Woke up this morning with a HUGE smile on my face....damn kids and thier sharpies.
A leaf blower, but for people.
Every once in a while someone really special walks into your life. That person is usually delivering a pizza
All i wanna know is how this website knew my name is Guest?
I should go to sleep but the Internet needs me.
The hardest things about beginning any new relationship has got to be learning how to fart quietly again.
You don’t have to be drunk to love me, but it helps
Being married is like having the freedom to do whatever your wife tells you.
All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific.