Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The 5 second rule for food dropped on the ground does not work if you have a 2 second dog.
I bet Hell is sitting in front of every person you know while a slideshow of all of your deleted selfies is played on a loop.
Some people, even in photos, just look like they smell horrible.
There’s a thin line between “I should do a status update about that” and “I should talk to a therapist about that”
My mom always said that I`d never find a man dumb enough to marry me. Well, I showed her...
If your single and you know it…Pet your cat!
When I was a kid, I told my parents I was going to make something of myself. I think they are getting impatient.
We all make mistakes .... I just do it better than everyone else.
Merry Christmas week! The time when it’s totally fine to put Peppermint Schnapps in your coffee every morning!
I`m going to start tackling random guys in football jerseys saying "look how he`s dressed. He was asking for it!"
Isn`t it weird when a cop drives by you feel paranoid instead of protected.
Twerking is the crocs of dancing.
I`d say go to hell, but I don`t want to see you again.
Whoever said "Just showing up is half the battle" (a) didn`t understand battles and (b) probably died quickly after showing up.
is ready to have one too many!