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If we all winked, laughed out loud, stuck out our tongues and blew kisses in real life as much as we do in texts...it would be very creepy.
Alway be nice to anyone that has full access to your toothbrush.
My relationship with whiskey has been on the rocks lately.
Just saw the trailer for "Noah." I hear The Book is better.
I always tell my kids that it`s ok to make mistakes as long as you learn how to blame them on other people.
Today I met one of those people on the bus that gets all pissed off when you put your finger in their mouth when they yawn.
I love bacon because I can wrap it around everything. Essentially, it`s the duct tape of food.
I put the "fun" in "functioning alcoholic"
Every time I hear the phrase, "Fire at will!", I can`t help but wonder, "What did Will do?!"
I`m not mental, other wise the rubber duckies would have told me by now...
Just bought two donuts without sprinkles...Diets are hard!
Spring cleaning: The term that gives us an excuse to only clean once a year.
This recliner and I go way back.
If the shoe fits . . . buy one in every color
If by time, you mean vodka, then yes, time does heal all wounds.