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Sometimes I feel bad about the things I say and do, but today is not one of those days.
I`m starting to think all that stuff about Y2K is not going to happen !
Why doesn’t The Rock just tell us what he’s cooking? I can’t pair wines like this.
You know you are paranoid when you think this joke is about you.
I left a note in the break room at work saying I had found five bucks. I hadn`t found any money, but it was worth five dollars to learn which of my co-workers is a lying douchebag.
finally joined craigs list. who wants to see my junk?
What if the weather talks about us?
It`s so cute how you can throw balls right at kids faces in the Chuck E Cheese ball pit and they think you`re just playing.
Drinking: because why not intensify the feelings you’re trying to escape?
I think instead of doing laundry I`m just going to buy a second hamper...
I`m starting to doubt that all of the people in this singing group are called Carol.
why were you in my dreams again? i`m starting to think you`re stalking me.
If you want funny, get off Facebook and watch the news...
Without coffee, I’m just a really tall 2 year old.
This book on marriage says treat your wife like you treated her on the first date, so after dinner tonight I am dropping her off at her parents` house