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There’s a special place in Hell for people who call to see if you got their email!
FITNESS TIP: Set a regular gym schedule that`s easy to keep up with. For example, I work out once every 4 years after I vote for president.
My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely.
Do not drink and drive.. because there are people out there who text and drive... and they will hit you and it will be your fault !!
I`m not above slashing my own tires to avoid going to this family brunch.
I wonder how long I`d be on hold if my call wasn`t important to them.
Kids are like debit cards. I get yelled at when I accidentally leave them at the store.
If you rearrange the letters of "postmen" they get really pissed off.
*puts selfie on top of christmas tree because I am the star*
It’s hard to tell if I’m dealing really well with life these days or if I just don’t give a sh!t.
My greatest fear is that PMS is fake and this is my real personality.
Never underestimate a girl’s ability to find things out.
Today`s Big Idea: Coffee eye drops.
I`d care more about your feelings if they came with a toy and chicken nuggets.
I just don`t get life insurance. Why would I want to give my family a financial incentive to kill me?