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Any psycho girls wanna hang out? Just text me like 5000 times and let me know.
I`ll be taking my time and yours,, thank you....... -- all 80 yr. old drivers
I learn from the mistakes of people who took my advice.
No matter how busy a guy is, he can always take out a moment from his busy life to just stop and stare at a beautiful girl.
Amazon’s recommendations are like that friend who heard you say “ninja” once and then got you ninja stuff for your birthday every year for twenty years
Stress from children can take 10 yrs off your life Drinking alcohol from stress can take another 10 yrs Based on my math, I died 5 yrs ago
If it’s the thought that counts, then I should probably be in jail…
The only problem with sarcasm is, it only works on intelligent people.
Excuse me but which level of Hell is this?
Some people just lack the ability to realize that everyone in the room wants them to shut up.
PMS = Prepare to Meet Satan.
Being able to read minds would be incredible...but constantly hearing about how sexy and great I am would probably get old.
Autocorrect changed "you`re so wise" to "you`re so wide", and now I need to find a good hiding spot before my wife comes home.
When finding someone to date, drinking compatibility is more important than you think.
When I`m CEO of Subway, employees will no longer be called "sandwich artists." They will be "sub humans."