Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.
I know there are some people we say were dropped on their heads as babies. But there are others that were clearly thrown in the air, hit the ceiling fan, bounced off the wall & fell out the window.
There is no angry way to say `bubbles.`
A good way to mess with a jogger is to run up alongside him and say, “It’s okay, I think we lost him.”
There`s a bald spot in my yard so I`m gonna let the grass grow around it really long and then do a comb over.
If Mary Poppins floated in on an umbrella today, they`d shoot her out of the sky with a drone.
Why is it called mooning when you`re actually showing uranus?
Do strippers have nightmares where they are in front of a large crowd with their clothes on?
Like a good neighbor, stay over there
I`m running out of reasons to call into work. Do you think "emergency circumcision" is a good excuse?
I wish there was a way to find out how many boners you’ve caused in a lifetime, I wanna check my stats.
Describe yourself in 3 words". "Not good at following instructions"
my husband of 10 years still goes mad when I use his toothbrush, if anyone knows a better way to get dog poo off shoes, im all ears
My friend`s Jeep was broken into and she acted so surprised about it. Your car is held together by zippers! It`s as secure as my pants.
There is nothing like sitting naked in a beanbag chair eating Cheetos. I hope they let me back in Walmart.