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My goal today is to lose this hangover and earn another
Helpful Tip: A ceiling fan won`t cut a bagel in half ... Not even on top speed
Do you ever just look at a girl and instantly know she posts her daily horoscope on Facebook and quotes Marilyn Monroe?
You guys are even more beautiful now that I`m wearing my "wine glasses".
Facebook. Where people can express thoughts that otherwise might get them fired, divorced, thrown in a loony bin or all three.
I bought my Ex a chair ... But the state won`t let me plug it in.
If I could have dinner with anyone alive or dead I would just have two dinners.
i m not totally useless, i can b used as bad example
Everyone talks about leaving a better planet for our kids. Let`s try to leave better kids for our planet.
Don`t worry, some people are their own punishment in life.
Are the unmarried employees at Kraft known as Kraft singles?
There are a lot of side effects to smoking weed. Like never shutting up about the fact that you smoke weed.
The only reason I keep people`s phone numbers in my phone is to avoid their calls..
Heck, I can tell which people are really judgmental just by looking at them.
This strip mall certainly is misleading And I probably should put my clothes back on now.